everything from action figures to dental dams

On friday I finally went to the movies, not to see something awesome and under appreciated, like Lockout, but to see the biggest movie out this weekend The motherfucking Avengers. Straight up, I almost didn't see it just to protest the sheer amount of advertising involved, there was a commercial for fucking insurance of some kind. Now I just came up with a great comic book series. It's about an insurance company that sells superhero/villain insurance. Your car got tossed over the horizon by the Hulk? Good thing you have Heroz Insurance! So they'd send out a claims agent, or whatever the fuck, man I don't have insurance, I'm poor and have nothing to insure. The sheer amount of shit with the movie Avengers is incredible, everything from action figures to dental dams. What convinced me to see the movie was a clip where Ironman and Thor were duking it out in a forest, it was pretty ridiculous and fun, as it should be. Fine! I thought, I'll watch the goddamn Avengers. AND YOU KNOW WHAT? The movie was super fun. There's shit exploding, big ass monsters figthing, fist fighting, the occasional well timed comedy bit, and it looked really fucking good. I am telling you, Robert Downey JR was born to play Tony Stark. I really dug how much the characters stuck to the personalities established in the previous Marvel flicks. I was really surprised how the Hulk stole the show. I might end up liking The Avengers more than The Dark Knight Rises. Sure TDK might be a better movie, but it looks so serious. So serious. Which is ridiculous because it's basically about a billionaire who dresses up like a bat to punch criminals in the face. They are totally gonna fuck up the inevitable sequel to the Avengers.

Face Punching Zombies Of The Third Reich

I just saw a lady at the store, yeah big deal, right? It was a lady a little bit over middle age. Her blue backpack had a plastic skeleton, equal in length to the bag, hanging from the zipper. On her head one of those cheap nylon hats they sell at walgreens when it gets cold, the kind next the one size fits all gloves and scraves that always end up MIA, dark blue. She had a black plastic bag over her skirt to match her gray and black sneakers. She was wearing a hoodie with a silver Bon Jovi logo. A necklace made out of a black strand that would have been continuous save for the small skulls. She had on one yellow kitchen glove, the other one was off so she could pay for her sole purchase: a small jar of folgers coffee. Her face was wrinkled, but not too much, no make up. Her nose would have fit a roman senator just fine. I paid for the bimbo bread I was buying for my dad and rushed out to see which way she was going, but by the time I got out she had vanished. She creeped me out.

Did some stuff upstairs, mainly carrying down debris and tearing down the front windows with my dad and the guy from next door. I came hound around 45 minutes ago to find out that half the place is without lights. It seems that it happened when my dad tore down the rest of the bathroom ceiling. Oh god. I hate this. For every one thing we do 2 other things go awry, and we haven't even been building just tearing shit down. I SHUDDER TO THINK. It's not even one thing at a time, my dad decided to do EVERYTHING at once. The light in the bathroom now consists of a halogen lamp hooked up to a red extension cord that snakes from the kitchen. On the third floor there are no walls or windows, from the outside it looks haunted, specially now with the white plastic on the inside that sways with the wind. I don't have any light in my room and I don't have a flashlight. There's no light in the porch, but that's because it's probably because the lights got wet, you know, from being hosed down.

Where did I go today? I went to see Dead Snow at the Music Box Theater. Dead Snow is about some college students who go to a secluded cabin in the mountains to spend their easter vaction. Some grizzled old guy warns them about "evil in these darn mountains" but dude said it classier and in uh... swedish? The it's a film from the northlands, so it one of their wacky viking tongues. Shortly after that the nazi zombies, oh yes, NAZI ZOMBIES, show up and everything goes to hell, hilariously. At one point some dude gets his head ripped in half and his brain flies out, okay that doesn't sound very funny, but it's all in the timing! Great gore effects. Once the movie picks up it doesn't slow down at all. If you're expecting subtlety from a movie that has nazi zombies, then I got some ocean front real estate in Kansas to sell you. Dead Snow is wonderfully over the top. The zombie are fast, but it's okay since they are not above punching people in the face. Of course it has it's frightening parts, that shot of the zombie climbing up a tree is particularly fucking terrifying, zombies aren't suppose to do that! But the comedy, the sheer comedy of it all, is what makes the movie shine. It wasn't just because I'm morbid or something, everyone in the theater was laughing. Fuck yeah.

I had some great ice tea from some a place with a name that I can't even pronounce when I'm looking at the sign, let alone trying to type it. For lunch I ate at potbellie's. I had dinner at Sinband's while watching a show on ch 11 about swordfish and their ilk. Those things are surprisingly huge, fast, aggressive. Like my ex wife! HEY YO!