Showing posts with label horrible monsters from the deep. Show all posts
Showing posts with label horrible monsters from the deep. Show all posts
Monday, November 30, 2009
Seriously, Mechanized Death is one of my favorite songs ever.
eep
KIIIIIIIIIIILLLLDOOOOOOOOOOZEEEER
If you want to know more about Killdozer you can always read the article at Damn Interesting about it. This should be a movie. Here's what I imagine the trailer to look like:
Narration: A man pushed too far.
Marvin (played by John Malcovich. int. shot of a muffler shop. a bare bulb lamp hanging over a workbench/desk. Marvin is wearing cover alls and a beat up baseball cap. he's holding a rumpled letter in one hand and looks generally anguished.): WHHYYYYYYYYYYY?!
cut to black screen. a beat and the word KILL appears. red letters on the black field. a stencil font. it pulsates.
Narrator: in a town ruled by corruption
cut to
int shot, a bunch of old white guys in suits sitting around at a fancy resturant, smoking cigars, drinking scotch, the remains of the meal scattered around the table
Rich guy: Ah, fresh veal, the best way to celebrate.
Rich guy 2: Yes, with the land in our possession, nothing will stop us from building the only kitten incinerator in Colorado.
Rich guy 3: Gentlemen, to evil! (holds his drink up in toasts, everyone cheers. close up of the glasses tinkling together. but then the restaurant starts to shake)
Rich guy: What the hell is that?
cut to black screen. a beat and the word DOZER appears, same font, same effect as before
ext. shot. The Chief is on a bullhorn behind a road block made of of squad cars. the camera is over his shoulder facing the KILLDOZER as it advances.
The Chief (Robert Duvall): Marty, you gotta stop this rampage!
Int. shot of the KILLDOZER, we see Marty's face in extreme close up, which is painted different hues from the screens that show differe around him, klaxons and other alerts are going off, underneath them the constant grinding of the KILLDOZER as it rolls over the street. Sweat beads on Marty's forehead.
Marty: Sometimes reasonable men must do unreasonable things. (straight from the article. I wish i could up up with lines like that!)
Cut to black screen. This time the word KILLDOZER appears as Mechanized Death by the Accused starts up, for a while there's a montage set to the song, the KILLDOZER going trough fire, explosions, people running, etc. cut to black screen once again with the KILLDOZER logo. the sound of a monstrous idling engine.
Narrator: KILLDOZER pulverizing theaters this July (or whatever).
8 45 PM
Shit I just realized that I forgot to mention that there's already a movie called Killdozer. It's about a bulldozer that comes to life because meteorite or something. It's pretty terrible. I also realized that when the rich guy proposes a toast to evil, well, that's from the simpsons! Doh! Ah well.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
The bassline is ridiculous. Ridiculous!
The album version is longer
Yes, you're welcome for the nightmares.
My brother's friend doesn't know who the Riddler is, damn kids.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Not so big. That's what she she said.
U.S. scientists net giant squid in Gulf of Mexico
U.S. scientists in the Gulf of Mexico unexpectedly netted a 19.5-foot (5.9-meter) giant squid off the coast of Louisiana, the Interior Department said on Monday, showing how little is known about life in the deep waters of the Gulf.
Not since 1954, when a giant squid was found floating dead off the Mississippi Delta, has the rare species been spotted in the Gulf of Mexico.
The squid, weighing in at 103 pounds (46.7 kg), was caught July 30 in a trawl net more than 1,500 feet underwater as it was pulled by a research vessel.
The giant squid, which did not survive the rapid change in water depth when brought to the surface, was preserved and sent to the Smithsonian Institution's National Museum of Natural History for further study.
When I read "giant squid" i expect something that would eat several fat children. 200 pounds at least.
U.S. scientists in the Gulf of Mexico unexpectedly netted a 19.5-foot (5.9-meter) giant squid off the coast of Louisiana, the Interior Department said on Monday, showing how little is known about life in the deep waters of the Gulf.
Not since 1954, when a giant squid was found floating dead off the Mississippi Delta, has the rare species been spotted in the Gulf of Mexico.
The squid, weighing in at 103 pounds (46.7 kg), was caught July 30 in a trawl net more than 1,500 feet underwater as it was pulled by a research vessel.
The giant squid, which did not survive the rapid change in water depth when brought to the surface, was preserved and sent to the Smithsonian Institution's National Museum of Natural History for further study.
When I read "giant squid" i expect something that would eat several fat children. 200 pounds at least.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
I'm bored.
I bet that's the title to a billion of these blogger post. Oh, Blogger. Hello, Blogger. I want to hang out with you on occasion. I want to laugh with you on the pier of life! Or something! Uhg. Shouldn't drink coffee after 8 pm. Not even Street Fighter IV could hold my attention right about now.
Usually I play Street Fighter early on in the day, when my brother is in school and I'm not being criticized, "Dude you should've done you're ultra. That was a terrible loss. Do your ultra. Why do you keep block, stop blocking," and what have you. He's actually very good, adapts well to whatever is thrown at him at any given moment. Playing it this time of day was strange because there were a whole of straight up noobs playing right now, you know, people with lives. I'm not saying I'm the king of fucking Street Fighter, I'm aight, as the kids say. I don't know how to drive stick shift, but I can lay down a swift, brutal beatdown. One of my cousins cried because I beat them in Street Fighter so hardcore way back when, I was 10 he was 12. It's just that I've been playing Street Fighter for almost 15 years. Jesus Christ on a unicycle. Thanks to online play I don't have to limit myself to playing against my brother, occasionally people who come over, and the drinking team plus whatever random drunks at Goldie's. Goldies + Street Fighter 2 = <3. Seriously, you don't even know. Sometimes I see dudes let themselves lose to some cute girl or whatever and it sickens me, I will try my best to shatter your dreams of victory no matter who you are. I've played people online that have crushed me as if I was a tiny ant and they monster trucks, savage whippings that have left me dazed. That's cool though. I don't take it personal. I'm not one of those people who quit midway through a bout because I'm losing, I hate that. These are the characters I use in Street Fighter IV: Vega, the stabbiest stabber to stab you in the face; Fei Long, because Bruce Lee lives within all of our hearts; Sakura, I like it when I whip some doof using some uber macho character like Akuma with a 14 year old girl; Balrog, to punch them till they love me, but I paraphrase.
How did I end up wearing my snake boots, blue tartan boxers, and a black hoodie in my basement? I suppose my glasses and socks count. Yes socks, I'm not some kind of hillbilly. My dad said told me to go to the shop tomorrow. I told him I had to go to parking ticket court, since I refuse to part with any money without given the bastards a run for their money. He said something like, "godamnit." I said something like, "Chill Daddy-o, I'll just go to the shop after." He said, "Alright fine. But come in work clothes." I said, "Right on." But then I realized I don't have any clean clothes that I'm willing to wear while cutting cars in half or whatever, thus I went to do some laundry. While I was tossing in some jeans I'm not fond off into the washer I said to myself, "ah what the hell I'm going to have to wash this stuff soon anyway," and took off my pants. Then I said, why stop there? So I tossed in the shirt I was wearing. Not the hoodie though because I just washed it, as well to carry the stuff I had in the pockets of whatever pocketed articles of clothing I threw in the wash (i found a dollar!). As I was standing there half naked, in awesome boots, watching the washing machine lumber into life I thought, "This is probably a fetish."
Komodo Dragons Kill Indonesian Fisherman. What the fuck. My favorite part of the story is, "In June last year, a group of divers who were stranded on an island in the national park -- the dragons' only natural habitat -- had to fend off several attacks from the reptiles before they were rescued." I imagine it's those kinds of stories that populated pulp magazines back in the day! The
In other horrible animal news:
Aquarists at the Blue Reef Aquarium in Newquay have discovered the identity of a mysterious killer that had been devastating their coral reef display over recent months. This... monster is four feet long. Shudder. I can't not look at it! Stuff like this is why I fear the ocean.
Usually I play Street Fighter early on in the day, when my brother is in school and I'm not being criticized, "Dude you should've done you're ultra. That was a terrible loss. Do your ultra. Why do you keep block, stop blocking," and what have you. He's actually very good, adapts well to whatever is thrown at him at any given moment. Playing it this time of day was strange because there were a whole of straight up noobs playing right now, you know, people with lives. I'm not saying I'm the king of fucking Street Fighter, I'm aight, as the kids say. I don't know how to drive stick shift, but I can lay down a swift, brutal beatdown. One of my cousins cried because I beat them in Street Fighter so hardcore way back when, I was 10 he was 12. It's just that I've been playing Street Fighter for almost 15 years. Jesus Christ on a unicycle. Thanks to online play I don't have to limit myself to playing against my brother, occasionally people who come over, and the drinking team plus whatever random drunks at Goldie's. Goldies + Street Fighter 2 = <3. Seriously, you don't even know. Sometimes I see dudes let themselves lose to some cute girl or whatever and it sickens me, I will try my best to shatter your dreams of victory no matter who you are. I've played people online that have crushed me as if I was a tiny ant and they monster trucks, savage whippings that have left me dazed. That's cool though. I don't take it personal. I'm not one of those people who quit midway through a bout because I'm losing, I hate that. These are the characters I use in Street Fighter IV: Vega, the stabbiest stabber to stab you in the face; Fei Long, because Bruce Lee lives within all of our hearts; Sakura, I like it when I whip some doof using some uber macho character like Akuma with a 14 year old girl; Balrog, to punch them till they love me, but I paraphrase.
How did I end up wearing my snake boots, blue tartan boxers, and a black hoodie in my basement? I suppose my glasses and socks count. Yes socks, I'm not some kind of hillbilly. My dad said told me to go to the shop tomorrow. I told him I had to go to parking ticket court, since I refuse to part with any money without given the bastards a run for their money. He said something like, "godamnit." I said something like, "Chill Daddy-o, I'll just go to the shop after." He said, "Alright fine. But come in work clothes." I said, "Right on." But then I realized I don't have any clean clothes that I'm willing to wear while cutting cars in half or whatever, thus I went to do some laundry. While I was tossing in some jeans I'm not fond off into the washer I said to myself, "ah what the hell I'm going to have to wash this stuff soon anyway," and took off my pants. Then I said, why stop there? So I tossed in the shirt I was wearing. Not the hoodie though because I just washed it, as well to carry the stuff I had in the pockets of whatever pocketed articles of clothing I threw in the wash (i found a dollar!). As I was standing there half naked, in awesome boots, watching the washing machine lumber into life I thought, "This is probably a fetish."
Komodo Dragons Kill Indonesian Fisherman. What the fuck. My favorite part of the story is, "In June last year, a group of divers who were stranded on an island in the national park -- the dragons' only natural habitat -- had to fend off several attacks from the reptiles before they were rescued." I imagine it's those kinds of stories that populated pulp magazines back in the day! The
In other horrible animal news:
Aquarists at the Blue Reef Aquarium in Newquay have discovered the identity of a mysterious killer that had been devastating their coral reef display over recent months. This... monster is four feet long. Shudder. I can't not look at it! Stuff like this is why I fear the ocean.
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