you don't even have to be "good" you just gotta rock and be loud when you do it

Last night I got to the Metro right after watching Bob's Burgers at the Gingerman, which is probably the best bar to kill time in before heading into the Metro. Of course the best way to go into the Metro is with a slight buzz, so I had a couple of beers: Krankshaft by Metropolitan brewing, which was crisp and citrusy, almost orangey, which provided a great contrast to Eugene Porter by Revolution Brewing I had just before that, dark and delicious, like a Guiness but not as foamy. Whatever. Here's my stance on beer: drink beer. Anyway I when I walked into the Metro I got a drink and went upstairs to sit on the couch, hate everything, and feel a little nostalgic (there has to be a word that combines both, I bet it's either german or japanese). I was sitting there when I noticed that the Coffin Pricks were playing and rocking so I went downstairs to check them out. The Coffin Pricks would be a perfect band to catch at the Mutiny on accident. They blasted through some too quiet, jagged, nervous rock that warmed up the crowd pretty alright. T.C.P. play the kind of music that would be great to have an argument to and then storm out of the room into the cold, cold night. They have the worst band name of the night.

After their set I went to get another drink and the cuter bartender laughed when I ordered "a cheap whiskey and coke." And then I laughed. It was a very grand time. This was my second time seeing Ceremony and I was looking forward to it because they are rockers. They came on stage and proceeded to rock, but something was amiss! And it wasn't that they were too quiet. Of course they played solid as hell, tight like as a fucking snaredrum, anyone who has ever said "I want to play rock music" would be jealous of their set, but goddamn they sounded clean, too clean, I wondered if their distortion pedals were broken. Even during old songs like Throwing Bricks they weren't all "RAAGRGH." Last time I saw them was at Subterrenean, it was insane, of course they were playing between The Ropes and fucking Raw Nerve. It was still really interesting hearing their set because even though it was clean it was like looking at an x ray of their music and their tunes have a skeleton made outta steel. They did a really cool Police cover, which is something I never thought I would say. Despite the lack of volume and distortion, Ceremony were still all like "RAARGH" (there's a difference). Good times. Also they get best band name of the night, why? Simplicity. The guitarist also gets best haircut of the night award.


Titus Andronicus played last. I was dismayed. How can a band with 3 (three) guitarist be so damn quiet? Damnit, rock bands, play loud! I ask very few things from you and one is to be fucking loud (the other is to rock, you don't even have to be "good" you just gotta rock and be loud when you do it). Damn you, Titus Andronicus, you have THREE GUITAR PLAYERS ON STAGE. Okay, okay cool, whatever. I like Titus Andronicus because they play good rock tunes that are perfect for driving long distances, road trip rock is what they play. There were way too many people wearing glasses at the show, it was like a fucking anime convention, so I was pretty surprised when the crowd when nuts. It was pretty cool how much people were into it, but I'm not a huge fan of the band so it almost felt like I was intruding. So after a few songs I got out of the main mayhem and chillled back admiring it all, but it wasn't as nearly as fun. It was like if you go to catholic mass for years and then you go to a baptist mass, same basic idea right, but totally different. They were pretty good, but I was feeling like an interloper and didn't stay for the whole set because I probably would've gotten real sad or something, ha ha ha. Titus Andronicus also plays good rock to walk out of the building into night to.


Recently it seems like the only times I have had actual fun at the Metro is when I'm not by myself.

Of course I should be at the show at the Empty Bottle to catch King Khan and BBQ Show, because that won't bum me out and it'll be LOUD. But I am tired and cold and after suddenly so down that my only solace right now is either sleep or violent video games. I don't know. I will try to muster up the drive to get down there, but deep down I know that it will end in vain, for pre sale tickets were already sold out and it was even in the paper today, which is weird. Um... I dozed off while doing this thing too. Not a good sign. I am defeated, crushed by the cold cruel night despite my pledges of allegiance.

Did I tell you that the Red Fang/Black Tusk show was sold out? OH THE HEARTBREAK. WHAT WOE. WHAT WOE.

WHAT WOE. WHAT WOE.

The Art of Getting Really Drunk and Loosing My Hearing

On saturday I decided to go to Reggie's. After downing a good size whisklurpee (get a slurpee and then pour whiskey in it. it is by the far the best drink i have ever come up with, the one other drink i made up (tepid vodka and cold coffee, just like in russia!) is testament to madness.) I found myself in line at Reggie's along with the unwashed masses of freaks yearning to breath free, and by breathing free I mean drinking copious amounts of booze, so the typical metal crowd. At some point the doors open and everyone trudged in.

The show took a really long time to start, long enough for the crowd to start chanting "Start the show!," for the first band to come on stage. It was way cool that Chicago's own Disrobe opened up, but they were cursed by the opening band syndrome of short set time and low volume. The audience dug them, which was really cool, but it hunger makes the best spice as they say.

Raise the Red Lantern (i think) came on next and they went and squandered any momentum that Disrobe built it up by sucking. But one of my friends kept buying me beers and that kept my mind off them. Their fatal mistake was that they were rather ponderous. Oh wait not it was their sucking.

The third band, Vöetsek, proceeded to kill. They played fast and loud, finally. You know how sometimes you smoke some weed and you're thinking, ah I'm not high at all, so you go off on your business and then while waiting in line at subway or something it hits you so hard you almost fall down? Vöetsek were kind of like that, they snuck up on me and it was like getting hit with a water balloon full of thrash metal.

Municipal Waste's set was exactly what I expected it to be, fast, rowdy, and stuffed with all the ridiculous thrashness that MW always brings. It was one of those shows where I couldn't fight the compulsion to toss my glasses at a friend and jump into the pit. After the show my straw cowboy hat, which has a metal wire in the rim to shape it, looked like a spider that had been smacked with a heavy book. Alas, Municipal Waste fell down that slope of playing so fast that set seems way shorter than it actually was, and even then it wasn't a long set.

For real, an all ages show? I know the 17+ shows go on pretty late, I don't know why they didn't go with that option. If they had I can imagine having to stand around listening to another shitty band, so it's a wash. Reggie's is always pretty cool about everyone having a good time, hell they'll let you go feed the parking meter! They won't let you do that shit at the Metro, much less the goddamn Aragon or whathaveyou. It was a pretty good metal show, the perfect thing to be totally trashed on some weird concoction, running into various people, and waking up the next day feeling like you fell of a cliff.

Mercyful Howl

Look at this specatcular album cover

It is the cover for Full of Hell by Howl (you can, and should, listen to the whole album here). On their myspace site you'll also see that the horrible skeleton, which is on fire, is holding on to some kind of evil artifact. Even without all that, if it was just the screaming on fire skeleton, I'd still love this album cover. It's a bit reminiscent of the cover for Mercyful Faith's Don't Break the Oath, which also happens to be one of my favorite album covers of all time.


badass!

Howl has some rocking tunes, the kind of metal I want on when I'm doing stuff and the kind that better be played so loud at live show that it would make your eyeballs quiver like a jello dish being transported in a monster truck. They are opening for Pentagram at Reggie's on the 18th. I'd like to go to that, but I really want to go see Eyehategod at the Empty Bottle on the 19th or 20th. Ideally I'd go to both (all 3!), hearing damage be damned.

I knew it

Dogs as Smart as 2-year-old Kids
"The canine IQ test results are in: Even the average dog has the mental abilities of a 2-year-old child.

The finding is based on a language development test, revealing average dogs can learn 165 words (similar to a 2-year-old child), including signals and gestures, and dogs in the top 20 percent in intelligence can learn 250 words. "

It also says that dogs can count up to 4 and have a grasp of basic math. Whether or not dogs can look up is still up for debate.

There was also a study that I read about a few weeks ago that dogs that drank guiness (or any stout) were healthier than the dogs who drank lager. Oh here it is! You know this experiment was mainly done to give dogs beer, get them wasted, and watch them careen around the room as they drunkenly chased a frisbee like frat boys chasing a tramp stamped co-ed in a wrigleyville bar. I guess this time you could say the dog needs more beer.