"4 Ill. cemetery workers accused in grisly plot" Good headline, but they weren't yanking out the gold teeth or rooting though decomposed clothes to get to gold necklaces or prying off the burial shoes to sell them off on ebay, they were digging up bodies so they could re sell the plots. According to the article dismembering a human body is a felony.

"Billy Mays remains a TV pitchman, even in death." Pretty good, but they should have spiced it up some: Billy Mays remains tv pitchman, FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE. Billy would approve!

"Americans favor science, but less than before" What? Ernie Smith, an baker, says, "Science is too expensive and confusing, recently I've been sticking to old fashioned witchcraft." No it doesn't really say that.