FATAL LABYRINTH

I didn't do anything except clean out the backyard today. I did saw a lot of things. I suppose that's sorta fun...

Okay so i've been playing Fatal Labyrinth for the last few days. Fatal Labyrinth is a game for the Sega Genesis, which is about a unnamed hero, who must trek through castle Dragonia in order to get the magical chalice to rid the land of the evil creatures that are popping up around the idyllic village that happens to be right next to a cursed castle. God. I want to play an rpg where you get to kill villagers for being so goddamn stupid. Anyway as the stupid intrepid hero you go from floor to floor fighting monsters (or fleeing), finding stuff to wear or stab monsters with, and eating roast that you find on the floor. The first time I played I immediately got gangbanged to death by a variety of monsters, mainly because I was armed with a butter knife. I continue to wonder what kind of appeal lies in tentacle rape hentai. The game over screen consisted of a fresh grave and I didn't even get a tombstone, just a rock, an orange rock. Anyway I tried again and managed not to die for a while, found some gold. When I died I got a slightly bigger rock at my grave site and an old man hanging around. I couldn't say whether he was mourning my untimely death or chuckeling because he had managed to outlive yet another would be hero... The third time I tried I did slightly better and got some more gold, this time my funereal was attended by more people and I even had a tombstone. The point is: any gold you find goes toward buying yourself a funeral, the more gold the better the funeral! It strikes me as odd that the villagers would venture forth into Dragonia to retrieve your corpse, but not to find the magical chalice themselves. In addition to armor and weapons you find magical canes, potions, and rings with different cause different things to happen, but you don't know what will happen until you use them. So that blue potion might heal you or cause blindess. There's metric assload of monster varieties, medusas (not gorgons), giant eyeballs, gelatinous blobs, and that staple of rpgs, ninjas, who in addition to shanking you will steal your gold, the bastards. Oh you can die from eating too much too. There's 30 floors of this madness, sometimes you run into a pit which sends you to the previous floor. The cool thing about the game is that the floor layouts are randomly generated. I shouldn't like this game, but I keep playing it. I hate most rpgs, but man I like killing monsters, and loot, precious loot! And drinking mysterious potions probably figures into it to. Well I don't know where I'm going with this so I'll stop now.

Yes. Riveting stuff.