Or "All I want for Christmas is my two front fangs!"

Santa Claus conquered the martians a while back ago now, right? Well how about Santa Claus Conquers the Vampires! In which Santa finds a town besieged by vampires so instead of handing out presents he decides to hand out large, steaming portions of ass kicking.

"Rudolph, old boy, let's get ready to slay."

There would be a scene where Santa is interrogating a vampire and he stuffs a clove of garlic in the vampires mouth. The vampire would spit it out, "Bah! Foolish beard-man! Don't you know we're modern vampires? Garlic can't stop us!" Santa stuffs a lump of coal into the vampire's mouth and says, "It was just a warm up." Before lighting the coal on fire.

One scene would be where a few of the vampires are holding a family hostage. They hear something landing on the roof and one of the vampires says, "Guard the chimney!" So there's a few vampires standing around the chimney, armed with baseball bats (get it?), anticipating Santa to come down. Tense seconds pass. Santa busts through the floor boards and drags the first vampire down to the basement.
(editor (aka me, which explains a lot): what no shiver me timbers joke? me: quiet, you! i'm not paying you to talk. editor: you're not paying me at all! me: cause you do a lousy job! editor: cause i'm not getting paid! i need to get out)

Santa Clause enters a crypt or something. He finds a vampire asleep in a coffin. Rudoplh, yes the reindeer, has a stake in his mouth that he hands to Santa, which Santa places over the fiend's heart. "Ho!" Santa drives the stake into the vampire. The vampire, realizing that it's not the alarm clock, starts to shriek. "Ho!" Another drive with the sledgehammer, blood starts to spray out, Rudolph turns his head. "HO!" The final hit with the hammer, more blood but now it's some weird color oh lets say green, the vampire shudders, shrivels and dies as the blood spray stops. Santa and Rudolph walkaway, but the vampire screams some more and more blood sprays out, until the vampire explodes. That's right, explodes, like KABOOM.