Monday, November 30, 2009

Seriously, Mechanized Death is one of my favorite songs ever.


eep

KIIIIIIIIIIILLLLDOOOOOOOOOOZEEEER


If you want to know more about Killdozer you can always read the article at Damn Interesting about it. This should be a movie. Here's what I imagine the trailer to look like:
Narration: A man pushed too far.
Marvin (played by John Malcovich. int. shot of a muffler shop. a bare bulb lamp hanging over a workbench/desk. Marvin is wearing cover alls and a beat up baseball cap. he's holding a rumpled letter in one hand and looks generally anguished.): WHHYYYYYYYYYYY?!
cut to black screen. a beat and the word KILL appears. red letters on the black field. a stencil font. it pulsates.
Narrator: in a town ruled by corruption
cut to
int shot, a bunch of old white guys in suits sitting around at a fancy resturant, smoking cigars, drinking scotch, the remains of the meal scattered around the table
Rich guy: Ah, fresh veal, the best way to celebrate.
Rich guy 2: Yes, with the land in our possession, nothing will stop us from building the only kitten incinerator in Colorado.
Rich guy 3: Gentlemen, to evil! (holds his drink up in toasts, everyone cheers. close up of the glasses tinkling together. but then the restaurant starts to shake)
Rich guy: What the hell is that?
cut to black screen. a beat and the word DOZER appears, same font, same effect as before
ext. shot. The Chief is on a bullhorn behind a road block made of of squad cars. the camera is over his shoulder facing the KILLDOZER as it advances.
The Chief (Robert Duvall): Marty, you gotta stop this rampage!
Int. shot of the KILLDOZER, we see Marty's face in extreme close up, which is painted different hues from the screens that show differe around him, klaxons and other alerts are going off, underneath them the constant grinding of the KILLDOZER as it rolls over the street. Sweat beads on Marty's forehead.
Marty: Sometimes reasonable men must do unreasonable things. (straight from the article. I wish i could up up with lines like that!)
Cut to black screen. This time the word KILLDOZER appears as Mechanized Death by the Accused starts up, for a while there's a montage set to the song, the KILLDOZER going trough fire, explosions, people running, etc. cut to black screen once again with the KILLDOZER logo. the sound of a monstrous idling engine.
Narrator: KILLDOZER pulverizing theaters this July (or whatever).

8 45 PM
Shit I just realized that I forgot to mention that there's already a movie called Killdozer. It's about a bulldozer that comes to life because meteorite or something. It's pretty terrible. I also realized that when the rich guy proposes a toast to evil, well, that's from the simpsons! Doh! Ah well.

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