like a drunken Canadian wandering off into the woods

One of my good friends asked me when the next time I would put something on my blog would be. I told him that next time I go to a show I'd put something up as this is mostly what this blog is. That was 2 weeks ago, the concert I went to was a week ago, but lemme tell me that I don't like to blog about shows unless they are fresh in my mind. It's kind of like letting a soda go flat, sure you can drink it, but it's sad and flaccid as my dick at a paperweights exhibit. Are there erotic paperweights? I'm scared to find out.

Boner level: 0.0

As I was leaving the house last saturday my friend Amanda called me and asked what I was doing, I said "I'm leaving the house to go to a rock show." They said, "Well come drink some booze with us at this byob taco place." I figured it made sense. I met up with Amanda who was there with Audrey and a bottle of Yukon Jack. Yukon Jack is fucking terrible, but Audrey insisted it was alright, mainly because it reminded her of partying pretty fucking hard, "When I was living in the suburbs I would do lines and then take shots of this with my relatives." And I agreed that it would go great with some sort of speed. After they finished eating and I somehow drank the rest of my Y.J. that had been cut with a ton of Topo Chico we went to get a cab. The cab was one of those minivan ones, but it didn't have a light on. There were two middle eastern guys up front, the driver asked where we were going and I gave him an interesection nearby Ultra Lounge. He said he'd take us but if the cops stopped us to say that we are all cousins. I said sure. The dudes tossed their instruments into the back of the cab and we were on our way. Turns out the guys were on the way to a gig near where they picked us up, I was worried that I was going to make them late, but they assured me they had plenty of time so it was all good.

I like Ultra Lounge. The drink prices aren't bad, they got a cool backyard to hang out in, there's always some horror movie or something on tv, even when I don't plan on showing up there they are blasting good loud rock/metal, and they get cool bands to play there. I didn't really get a good look at the main room but it looked like there was a lot of people there and the venue room was packed with all sorts of rockers and metal heads. Ultra is also conveniently located within walking distance of a number of bars I like, so it's a good stop on those nights that I feel like going to a few different places. The bartender who was on the venue side was someone I've known forever and I introduced her to my friends and then I got a round of beer and shots, which was grand because I was already feeling the Yukon coursing through my brain like a drunken Canadian wandering off into the woods. We got to the place 10 minutes before the bands started so that was fucking sweet.

The first band up was Jar'd fuckin' Loose, yes they warrant the fucking because they fucking rock. I saw them play a while back ago, opening for Zeke and was suitably impressed to remember them. The last show they played that I know of was Macabre's Holiday of Horrors show, but I didn't go to that because... I don't know. Their album, Goes To Purgatory, is rocking, the sounds kinda like Pantera + White Zombie + a dash of Primus. Anyway they fucking rocked a short set of loud rock that would be perfect to listen to in a death race of some kind.



Last Living Roach by Jar'd Loose what a badass song


Next up was Sweet Cobra, also from Chicago. Not before some more beers and shots of course. They were good, as usual, these guys have been together for ages. Nowadays there's a lot these bands that play, well it's not stoner metal, I like to call it Microbrew Rock. Bands like Sweet Cobra, Red Fang, Black Tusk, Baroness, and a few others. (maybe even Clutch) Music that goes real well with grilling and drinking awesome beers. This go around they played as a three piece and didn't sound as mighty as they usually do, but they were loud and a it was fine show of guitars and fuck everything.


Leviathan by Sweet Cobra

I really wish I could say more about the third and fourth bands but I don't remember them. The third band sounded cool. It probably didn't help that I was trashed and the girls were trashed. What I do remember is leaving during the fourth band and Audrey saying, "Those bands were fucking cool!" Right before puking by the curb outside of the bar. This this is the third time I've seen her puke. I have friends I've know for years that I've never even seen sneeze. We all crashed back at Amanda's place and when I woke up my first thought was I am never drinking again. Of course that last all of half an hour before Amanda woke up and offered me a shot, hair of dog. Audrey woke up and said "I can't move. I'm paralyzed. Oh no." I told Amanda that she's going to have to take care of her until the end of her life and that she should move her so she doesn't get bed sores. A little while later I walked home in the freezing rain/sleet, under a steel wool colored sky, and it was so miserable that I laughed and laughed.

Soundgarden played in Chitown recently, I figured that I would get tickets at the door if I felt like it. BOTH NIGHTS SOLD OUT MONTHS BEFORE. WHAT.

Infinite Party Fuck It All

On saturday night I found myself at Reggie's. I should get there more often. I've seen a lot of great bands there and have had some great times, very rock and roll. I always seem to remember the place as being huge, but it's not that big, way smaller than the Metro, and a little bit smaller than the Bottom Lounge. The place is almost perfectly designed to have loud as hell rock shows. I even dig the balcony on top with it's comfy chairs and couches.

A friend and me got to Reggie's in time to catch 3 songs by Chicago's own Hay Perro. I have never heard Hay Perro before that night, judging from their band name I was expecting some limp indie rock. Luckily they prove me hopelessly wrong by rocking. They play fast rock with some sweet, sharp guitars. Hay Perro's set was beautifully loud, as rock and roll should be, loudness being a major theme for the night.

After Hay Perro got off stage a bunch of dudes that looked like an outlaw gang from a spaghetti western appeared. Suddenly the opening riff from The Trooper by Iron Maiden blasted from the stage. I reacted by shaking my fist at the stage and shouting "YEAAAAHH!" They didn't go into the rest of the song, but it was okay, for once it was okay, because they proceeded to FUCKING ROCK. Halfway into their second song I realized that they had 3 guitarists on stage and for a second I thought they had 4 guitarists, but it turned out that the lead singer/bassists is huge and was playing a six string bass. They play fast fierce rock that is just a thing of wonder, the kind of rock music that gives me hope and raises my spirit. While watching them I thought, they'd be the best band to play at the Mutiny. AND THEY ARE PLAYING AT THE MUTINY IN MAY, YOU HAVE TO GO. You have to go, you have to go drink beers, take shots, and rock the fuck out with these dudes. After their set my friend Anne said, "I feel like stealing a camaro."


Trouble No More by Against the Grain

Another Chicago band came on third, this time it was Jar'd Loose. They sounded really good. They have a great best of the 90s sound going on, lots of White Zombie and Metallica, some grungness, and lots of punk. The frontman is (used to be?) head up The Muzzler, who fucking rule(d?). Freed from playing an instrument dude is one of the most entertaining front men I've seen. Their first song was explosive as fuck. They lost some momentum, but played very well. Hopefully they just kill next time I see them.

Of course the volume kept going up and up throughout the night, thus Zeke was like getting hit by a god's hammer. They played a shitlot of loud as hell, louder, songs that lend themselves way too easily to drinking copious amounts of cheap beer. AS IT SHOULD BE. If I ever manage to get a vast amount of money the first thing I'm doing is throwing a huge rock festival. I'll call it Infinite Party Fuck It All. You better believe that Zeke is going to be there. They rocked, the rolled, the main lesson they taught me was that fuck everything let's listen to some really loud fast rock music. Amen to that.


Kicked in the Teeth by Zeke

Not sure what the next concert I'm going to is. I'd like to go see Mastodon at the Riv on friday, mainly to see Ghost. ALAS! Behemoth, and more importantly, Watain, are playing the same night. In a perfect world Ghost and Waitain would be playing the same show. I heard that last time Waitain played that they were tossing real blood around and had meat on stage. That's what I'm talking about.

I had way too much fun looking at The Joy of Satan website today.